Reflections

Sometimes I wonder why I do nice stuff for people. Perhaps the horoscopes are right. Virgos are meant to serve, and will never be great achievers.

Living a life of altruism really isn't healthy. Sometimes, you have to really, really ignore your conscience and accept that no matter how "realistic" you are, you have to accept that your ideals will be shattered, one way or another, one day or another.. Let this be a lesson, a reminder, that dreams never come true. Chasing dreams will never come true. Dreaming will never make things come true. It's all in the plan. Whether it's your plan, or anyone else's plan, or God's plan. There are some things you can't ignore, and for once i thought twice when I asked myself whether I regretted something.

Man I'm in deep shit. And no one's there to save me. Except myself.

Regret

I'm disappointed at myself. For being the jerk that I am. For being the asshole for not calling her.
For being the idiot of getting together with her in the first place. Now that things are going down the drain, I'm only angry at the fact that I never looked back at my decisions, again, and I'm about to lose someone, possibly permanently, very dear to me. I hate this situation that I'm in, fighting a losing war and not being able to do anything about it. Every call, every thought hurts, I remember once Napoleon said that to win a losing war, don't get into it in the first place. How did I make that mistake? Fishsticks.

If anyone finds this..

If anyone finds this series, I'll be quite surprised.

This is Lux signing in, with all the anger, attention needed, all let out here.

I'm not usually one that complains, but of course I have my moments that I'm frusrated at the world, angry at something I did (or perhaps someone else) that I need to let it out here.

How I wish I could decorate the template with fires.